SXSW is coming up soon, and they have a great series of "Conversation" sessions lined up, including media mogul/billionaire Mark Cuban interviewing Disney mogul Michael Eisner on Tuesday, March 11. Cool! Also lined up for Conversations: uber-film journalist Elvis Mitchell will moderate the "Conversation with Billy Bob Thornton" (that one should be interesting) and for all you music fans, BMI's Doreen Ringer-Ross will moderate the "Conversation with Moby," both of these will also be March 11.

A couple days earlier, on March 9, they'll have Ain't It Cool News Head Honcho Harry Knowles moderating the "Conversation with Harlan Ellison," and AP reporter Christy Lemire moderating the "Conversation with Helen Hunt." That's a whole lot of "conversation-ing" -- if you're heading down to SXSW, you'll want to make sure to get filled up on some yummy Austin BBQ to sustain yourself. Kudos to the SXSW staff for lining up a great fest this year.

Multiple sources are reporting today that Universal has invited John Landis into the office for a couple of meetings about potentially directing The Wolf Man, probably at the behest of the film's creature effects maestro Rick Baker, who Landis worked with on the seminal modern werewolf picture, An American Werewolf in London, many full moons ago. There are reports that the studio was taken aback by the hissy fit that the usually compliant Harry Knowles went into over the studio's almost-sealed deal with Brett Ratner to take over the project that Mark Romanek has inconveniently exited, and so now they're keeping their options open by meeting with a whole host of potential candidates. I don't really buy that -- there's no way the Universal brass actually takes fanboy reaction that seriously, but nevertheless, here we are, and I'm left with one question: John Landis -- really?

Landis has been persona non grata in Hollywood for a long, long time -- being negligent enough to allow Jennifer Jason Leigh's dad to be decapitated on your movie set is a great way to have your phone calls go unreturned -- but he did get at least a couple of comeback opportunities in the 90s, most notably the chance to helm a third Beverly Hills Cop film, and he bungled that opportunity fabulously. BHCIII is one of the worst big-budget action-comedy films I've ever seen in my life, so lifeless and listless and such a franchise-killer that even Jerry Bruckheimer will tell you, if you ask, that he wouldn't be involved in a fourth one if they begged him. Landis's 1992 vampire film, Innocent Blood, was also a hokey disappointment. Still, some swear by the man who brought us Trading Places, Three Amigos and American Werewolf, and would be giddy at the thought of his return to the brass ring. Are you one of those people?

Yesterday, I told you I wouldn't be writing anything more on Cloverfield. Well, I lied. Gotcha! It was a twist ending! I bet you never saw it coming, huh? Actually, I'll admit, at the time I wasn't lying. I sincerely planned on not writing anything more about Cloverfield because, nothing at all against the film (which I plan to see and hope to enjoy), but I'm just spent, dude. Too much hype. Too much Cloverfield. But then I read this review from AICN chief Harry Knowles and, well, I thought it'd be fun if we played a game. We'll get to the game in a minute, but first a cautionary warning: With huge, fanboy-ish films like this one, sometimes they'll bring in Knowles to see it before anyone else. Why? Well, because they're almost guaranteed a nice, pretty quote to throw on future marketing materials, like those commercials that air the week of or the week after the film is released.

That said, now it's your turn to help Paramount pick which Knowles quote to use in future Cloverfield commercials. (Note: For all we know, Knowles' review could be spot on. But some of the quotes in there were just too hilarious to ignore.)

UPDATE: Jeff Wells from Hollywood Elsewhere has written what has to be my favorite quote so far in his mini review of Cloverfield: "It is Guillermo del Toro on a tab of brown acid with a little crack thrown in."

An eclectic group of online film notables, including former Times critic Elvis Mitchell, AICN's Harry Knowles, my colleague Glenn Kenny of Premiere.com, Roger Ebert's sidekick Jim Emerson and Jen Yamato of Rotten Tomatoes have gotten together to have a long, in-depth discussion about one of the year's top awards contenders, No Country for Old Men. A lot of topics are discussed during the free-floating talk, ranging from macro subjects like the film's much talked-about ending and the theme of old vs. young to minutiae like what happened to the coin that the gas station attendant won his life with and the significance of Javier Bardem's Prince Valiant haircut. There's also a lot of talk about the significance of feet in the film -- one character gets wounded in the foot and Bardem's character has a peculiar obsession with keeping his feet clean and there are lots of shots of walking feet in the film. What does it all mean?

It's the controversial ending that prompts the most debate, and Harry Knowles talks at one point about a screening of the film that took place in Austin with Josh Brolin in attendance: "A member of the audience stood up and [said] 'Why did they end it like that?!' and Brolin just looked at the guy and he looked angry." Kenny offers a unique interpretation of the last act, specifically referring to two events that happen in quick succession involving Bardem and another character. He believes Bergman's The Seventh Seal was an influence for the Coen Bros. on that. To hear the whole thing, just download the MP3 off the film's official website and enjoy.

The big talk of the past couple days is the overtly hostile audience reaction that greeted The Poughkeepsie Tapes at Harry Knowles' Butt-Numb-A-Thon this past weekend. For those who haven't seen it, Poughkeepsie is a horror-mockumentary, a "found footage" movie like The Blair Witch Project, in which we're told about and shown clips from the 'found' video library of a prolific serial killer who terrorized Poughkeepsie, NY for years. At BNAT, the audience greeted the film with boos and hisses and the mood was so hostile that a planned Q&A with the filmmakers was cancelled on the spot. Today, AICN and other sites are running advance reviews that spoil the movie's secrets and trash it as a completely failed project.

Here's where I come into this -- I saw The Poughkeepsie Tapes at Tribeca and I enjoyed it, but only because I was seeing it on a completely different wavelength than the filmmaker. You see, the director actually thinks his movie works as a faux-documentary. He thinks the audience is fooled. Not only is it not fooled, but when watching the film at Tribeca I never even imagined a serious attempt was being made to trick me into thinking this was real. It was only later, when I conducted an exclusive interview with John Dowdle, that this came to light. See, I thought it would be perfectly okay to talk about the film not being real during the interview, and I happily pointed out all the 'cues' that clued me to the fact that it was phoney. This caused John great agita and weeks after the interview was published, I started getting frantic, panicked emails from the film's publicity people asking me to cut out the passages where I talked frankly about the film being fictional.

John, get a new marketing team. No human being with a third-grade education or higher is fooled into thinking your movie is a legit documentary. Again, I didn't even know I was supposed to think that. But the point is that I didn't care -- I thought the movie actually worked as a horror-comedy and I gave it a positive review, and I certainly wasn't the only one. That's the direction to spin this thing. Otherwise, you're just pissing people off by insulting their intelligence.

In comparison with film festival veterans, I'm a newbie: I've attended all or part of about two dozen over the past five years. I've yet to make it to Cannes, Toronto or Sundance, but I've gone to regional fests, Asian fests, homegrown fests run entirely by volunteers and big city fests sponsored by large corporations. With all these fests, I've come to expect different things: red carpet premieres and well-known stars at the bigger ones, great enthusiasm and excitement for the films at the smaller ones. Fantastic Fest in Austin, which concluded its third edition this past Thursday, walks another line entirely.

Our own Scott Weinberg described it as "the slickest, screwiest, most user-friendly genre festival this side of the continent." (We'll get to Scott and the unexpected pleasures of the game show he hosted later in this article.) Allow me to explain further: the festival is held at the Alamo Drafthouse (South Lamar location), a multiplex where, yes, you can order food and drinks from your seat, but, more important, all the auditoriums are superb screening facilities. Any projection glitches are fixed quickly and the sound is cranked up as loud as it should be.

Three of the six auditoriums were set aside for the festival, and clearly marked lines were set up in the lobby so you knew where to stand while waiting for your next movie. The staff and volunteers are friendly, well trained, knowledgeable and willing to share opinions on movies if they can spare a moment. It's a huge advantage to have all the festival screenings at one location, especially an exceptionally well-run facility with plenty of free parking. This gives Fantastic Fest a tremendous leg up on other well-meaning though poorly-organized festivals I've attended.

One of the most versatile filmmakers around, Michael Apted is no stranger to picking up franchises that were begun by other people. Most respected is his continued following of up of 14 individuals, who have been presented every seven years in what are collectively known as the _ Up documentaries (49 Up was the most recent). He took that project -- which was not originally intended as a lifelong series -- over from Paul Almond, director of Seven Up!, for which Apted served as a researcher. A few years ago, he took on the 007 franchise for a single shot effort, The World is Not Enough. Now a little bird has told Harry Knowles at Aint it Cool News that Apted will be taking over the Chronicles of Narnia series.

I haven't seen the first of the Narnia movies, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and I wasn't planning on it, but now I'm gaining some interest. Franchises are always more appealing to me when they switch up directors midstream. It worked great for the Harry Potter movies, which completely raised their cred by bringing in Alfonso Cuarón for the third installment, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, following Chris Columbus' welcome departure after the first two. Apted may not be as great a filmmaker as Cuarón -- I lost interest in his fiction filmmaking after the J. Lo vehicle Enough (not to be confused with his James Bond effort) -- but he should bring some freshness to the Narnia movies. If the little bird is correct, he will take on the third movie, The Voyage of the Dawn Trader, which also currently is rumored to have Neil Burger attached. One or the other will replace Andrew Adamson, who, like Columbus, has been the series' director for the first two installments -- he is currently directing the second, Prince Caspian.

Extra, extra! Read all about it! Professional gore-slinger Eli Roth to attend South By Southwest this March, sit on a horror-geek panel, and show off a brand-new clip from his upcoming movie Hostel: Part 2! Cool!

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First the panel news: The event ("Panel of the Dead: Horror Films of Today") will be held on March 11, with AICN's Harry Knowles moderating the discussion. Panelists will include Mr. Roth, filmmaker Scott Glosserman (Behind the Mask), producer Lauren Moews (Cabin Fever, Borderland) and yes, yours truly, because if you're going to invite a film critic to sit in on a horror panel, you should probably choose one who actually appreciates the fine art of cinematic horror ... as I so definitely do. (There may be some more panelists announced down the road, so stay tuned!)

But what about the movies? Well, in addition to the aforementioned Hostel: Part 2 clip, SXSW attendees will be able to enjoy the following fright-centric flicks:

Borderland (World Premiere) -- Sean Astin, Rider Strong and the amazingly gorgeous Mircea Monroe star in this tale of lost kids, wrong turns and human sacrifices.

Grimm Love (North American Premiere) -- Before he was handed the reins on the upcoming Hills Have Eyes 2, German filmmaker Martin Weisz created this unpredictable (and fairly controversial) tale of hardcore cannibalism. (Over the past year or so, I've been asked "Have you seen Grimm Love yet?" at least a dozen times.)

Mulberry Street (North American Premiere) -- SXSW producer Matt Dentler described this one to me as "Zombies overtake New York, only they're like Rat-Zombies. It's pretty damn wild." Sign me up.

Sisters (U.S. Premiere) -- All I know is that it's a remake of the Brian De Palma flick, and it stars Stephen Rea and Chloe Sevigny ... which is all I need to get at least somewhat interested.

Them (U.S. Premiere) -- A French chiller also known as Ils, it's about a couple who get absolutely terrorized by a group of unseen assailants. And by "unseen," that means by the audience as well.

...and of course the SXSW brain-trust has its collective eye on a few more horror titles, so if you feel like visiting Austin and you really like scary, spooky, splattery movies -- I say you make your trip mid-March.

Last week, I posted in a comment on another entry that I am not a fanboy. I still stand by that remark, especially since I'm not a boy. Give me a choice between a comic-book adaptation and an Austin-made indie and I tend to favor the latter. I have a definite weakness for romantic comedy at times. I prefer snappy dialogue over splashy special effects. But I suspect that fewer people than ever will believe that I am not a fanboy (or fangirl, to be fair) after I tell you that I spent last weekend at the 24-hour Austin film marathon known as the Butt-Numb-a-Thon, which is heralded by many as a litmus test for major film geekiness.

The Butt-Numb-a-Thon (BNAT for short) is an annual event organized by Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News. Knowles programs 11 or 12 movies at Alamo Drafthouse Downtown in Austin -- half are interesting vintage films, and half are movies that haven't been released in theaters yet. The lineup is not made public, so everything's a surprise. Sometimes, the directors of the unreleased films show up for a Q&A session, or send video greetings to the BNAT attendees. It's mostly a private event, which always occurs on the weekend of Knowles' birthday, from noon one day to noon(ish) the next. For the most part, prospective attendees have to apply for admission (thousands fill out the application, and the theater seats 200), and Knowles hand-picks the guests. It's a party and film marathon all in one, and many attendees know each other from past BNATs or from the Ain't It Cool talkback forums. However, there are always a few empty seats because of last-minute cancellations, so it's possible to get into the event as a standby. I had a lot of fun waiting unsuccessfully in the standby line last year, and decided to try it again. A lottery is used to select the lucky standby tickets, and miracle of miracles, I was the last one picked.

And now, the third installment of our new weekly podcast, Coming Distractions. I'm your host, Cinematical.com Editor-in-Chief James Rocchi, and this week's edition of Coming Distractions features myself and Cinematical.com contributor Scott Weinberg talking about Pirates, Ain't It Cool News' 10th Birthday and and much, much more. Download and enjoy -- and let us know what you think in the comments section! The Podcast can be found ... right here.

(Coming Distractions theme: 'Overdose,' Dumb.)

• Breakfast On Pluto - The Crying Game writer-director Neil Jordan never really does get into why Patrick “Kitten” Braden becomes a transvestite, but he does manage to save his film from being a rote and self-indulgent celebration of uniqueness when he bobs and then weaves a political cry (for Irish independence) into it. The criminally attractive Cillian Murphy plays Kitten a little too much like Mrs. Doubtfire, though he does sustain the character, and an incredible glam-packed soundtrack helps create an energetic sense of time and place.
• Deep Blue - While not as stunning as the likes of Winged Migration or March Of The Penguins, this BBC-produced nature film sure is pretty to look at. With a calming, minimalist narration by Pierce Brosnan (supplanting Michael Gambon's from the UK release) and a dreamy score by George Fenton, the underwater photography is stunning. The beast-on-beast violence is a bit intense, with one hapless sea lion meeting his end when two orcas play hacky-sack with his mangled corpse (in slow-motion, no less).

And the fat keep getting fatter. Not long ago, I reported that Jorge Garcia (Lost) would be playing AICN chief Harry Knowles in the upcoming film about fanboys called, what else - Fanboys. Well, because of scheduling conflicts Garcia dropped out, and producers scurried around town in search of an adequate replacement. Personally, if I was assigned the job of finding a really fat guy with red hair asap, I'd either throw Carrot Top in a fat suit or hand in my resignation stat.

However, it turned out there was a fat guy available and, although he does not have red hair, his comedic connection to AICN made him the perfect candidate. That's right folks - Kevin Smith will be playing Harry Knowles in Fanboys. Knowles broke the news himself today and stated that everyone involved in the project is granting Smith free reign with the character.

Why is this such a great move? Well, you may remember awhile back when Kevin Smith went to war with the commenter's over at AICN. Since they don't like him and he isn't so fond of them, I'm dying to see if he takes out his frustration on the Knowles character. Seeing as the Fanboys audience will be largely made up of AICN fanboys, here is his chance to make a fool out of their glorious leader. Ooohh, I kind of want to see it now. Er, or maybe not.

 

Okay, so you work in Marketing at IFC. You've got to get the print ad done for Sorry, Haters -- a shot-on-DV movie that's getting mixed reviews. And ... something happens. You (and this part is multiple choice):

a) Don't get that Ain't it Cool News takes reports from readers with pseudonyms, and that Vincent Hanna is the name of Al Pacino's character in Heat. You run the ad, with Hanna's blurb between the endorsement of Ebert and Roper, The Hollywood Reporter and Entertainment Weekly.

b) Completely understand that and yet have no compunction about running a blurb from a pseudonymous fictional character because, hey, could you pick Lisa Schwarzbaum out of a line-up? Maybe she's fictional, too.

c) Were working on proof-reading the ad quite diligently until you realized that 'Wacky Steve' from IT was having his farewell party at that place near the thing you went to that one time where they have drinks.

d) Were distracted by the pleasure of finally meeting David Manning and then awoke screaming from your Charlie Kaufman-esque nightmare.

e) All of the above.

Share your thoughts. And see the full, uncropped ad scanned from the San Francisco Bay Guardian after the jump.

You know things are getting weird when an internet movie critic-type guy is awarded his own character in a film. Jorge Garcia (Lost) will be playing Harry Knowles from AICN fame in the upcoming Fanboys flick...and all I wanna know is when us Cinematical folks will get our turn?

Apparently, in the film, Knowles will be responsible for providing the fanboys with knowledge on how to get into the Skywalker Ranch. Though I believe this is the first time an actor has been cast to play an internet fanboy in a feature film, there was that Entourage episode in which the boys hired strippers to please an internet writer so that he wouldn't say anything bad about their movie. When the episode aired, it was rumored that the character was based on Knowles, but nothing official was ever said. Produced by Kevin Spacey, Fanboys begins its production next month. Oh, and if Brad Pitt is available, feel free to throw yours truly into the pic as well.

 

Trust Harry to go straight to the source. While the rest of us were sitting around being bummed out that the ILM Transformers "test footage" turned out to be fake, Harry Knowles of AICN somehow got in touch with director Michael Bay (or at least someone pretending to be him) to find out what actually is going on with his movie.

According to Bay, the last six months have been spent on drawings and storyboarding, with an eye to making robots that can "emote," because their ability to convey realistic emotion will apparently "be the deciding factor on whether or not this movie gets made." (Yeah, that's right - though we sometimes forget such minor details in our eagerness for the project, the damn movie hasn't even been greenlit yet.) Though Bay said he initially lacked enthusiasm for the project (Gee, really? I'm just guessing here, but I can't imagine many Transformers fans felt much enthusiasm for him, either.), he's now really excited about what they've come up with. According to AICN, Bay feels "he's found a really cool film that kids and Transformers fans are going to really get behind."

I'm still wary as hell of Bay, but I guess it's good that work is actually being done on the film. Right?